What Executors Wish the Deceased Had Done Before They Died

Preparing end-of-life matters may feel daunting, but organizing your affairs and sharing your wishes can significantly ease the burden on your loved ones during a difficult time.

What Executors Wish You Had Done Before You Died

Preparing end-of-life matters may feel daunting, but organizing your affairs and sharing your wishes can significantly ease the burden on your loved ones during a difficult time.

If you’ve ever been the person who had to “figure it all out” after someone died, you know the stress isn’t only grief—it’s also uncertainty, paperwork, and time-sensitive decisions. Executors often aren’t asking for perfection. They’re wishing for clarity, access, and a few thoughtful steps that prevent confusion.

Make it easy to find what matters

Choose a single “source of truth”

Executors lose the most time hunting through drawers, email accounts, and scattered files. A single place where your key information lives—kept reasonably up to date—turns a chaotic week into a manageable one.

This can be a folder, binder, or secure digital location. What matters is that it’s consistent, organized, and someone you trust knows it exists.

Write a simple “in case I die” overview

A short overview page helps your executor orient themselves before they touch any paperwork. It’s not a legal document; it’s a roadmap that points to the right documents and people.

Include only what’s useful and confirm you’re comfortable sharing it with the person who will use it.

Full legal name, date of birth, and where key documents are stored
Executor name and contact information (and a backup, if you have one)
Names and numbers for your attorney, accountant, and financial institutions (if applicable)
Where to find your will, trust documents, and any beneficiary designations
How to access your phone and email (or where instructions are kept)

Label accounts and documents in plain language

Executors often inherit a stack of statements with unclear purpose: “Is this active? Is it paid? Is it important?” A few labels can prevent missed bills, duplicate payments, and unnecessary calls.

On statements or in your list, add brief notes like “primary checking,” “old 401(k) from prior job,” “life insurance—keep,” or “closed account—ignore.”

Get the core legal and medical pieces in place

Confirm the basics are completed and accessible

Many families discover too late that documents exist but can’t be found, or were never signed correctly. You don’t need a complex setup to help your executor—you need the basics completed and easy to locate.

If you already have documents, focus on making sure your executor knows where they are and how to get them quickly.

Will (and any trust documents, if you have them)
Health care directive / advance directive (your medical wishes)
Health care proxy / medical power of attorney (who can speak for you)
Financial power of attorney (who can act if you’re alive but incapacitated)

Keep beneficiary designations consistent

Executors often run into painful surprises when beneficiary forms don’t match the intent in a will. Some accounts pass by beneficiary designation, not by what someone “meant” to happen.

Make a list of accounts that have beneficiaries (retirement accounts, life insurance, some bank accounts) and review them occasionally, especially after marriage, divorce, a birth, or a death in the family.

Leave clear guidance for medical decisions

Even with formal documents, families struggle when wishes are vague. Executors and health care decision-makers wish they didn’t have to guess what “do everything” or “no heroic measures” means to you.

In a short note, describe what matters most: comfort, time with family, ability to communicate, avoiding prolonged life support, or religious considerations. Specificity helps loved ones feel confident they honored you.

Reduce the “treasure hunt” for money, bills, and property

List your accounts, assets, and debts

Executors don’t need every detail memorized, but they do need a complete map. Missing accounts can lead to unclaimed property, while unknown debts can create stress and mistakes.

A simple inventory can be updated once or twice a year and after major changes.

Bank and credit union accounts
Retirement accounts and pensions
Life insurance policies (company and policy number)
Credit cards, loans, and mortgages
Real estate, vehicles, and any titles or deeds
Safe deposit box location (and who can access it)

Explain what gets paid and how

In the first weeks, executors are trying to keep essentials running while preventing unnecessary spending. They wish they knew which bills are on autopay, which are manual, and which can be canceled immediately.

Add a short note for each recurring expense: “autopay from checking,” “paid by credit card,” “needs manual payment,” or “cancel after death.”

Don’t forget digital finances and subscriptions

Small monthly charges can become a long-term headache if no one can access the account to cancel them. Digital wallets, app subscriptions, and online services are easy to overlook but time-consuming to untangle.

List your major subscriptions and where they’re managed (Apple ID, Google account, Amazon, streaming services). If you use cryptocurrency or online-only banks, include clear instructions on where records are kept.

Make your digital life survivable

Create a practical access plan (without oversharing)

Executors often need access to email or phone accounts to locate statements, reset passwords, and notify contacts. But sharing passwords casually can feel unsafe and may not be appropriate for every relationship.

A balanced approach is to store access instructions securely and share how to find them, rather than handing out passwords widely.

Document what you want done with accounts and files

Beyond access, executors wish they knew your preferences: Do you want social accounts memorialized or deleted? Do you want photos shared with family? Are there files that should be archived or removed?

A short list of “keep,” “share,” and “delete” can prevent accidental loss and reduce family conflict.

Identify key devices and where to find them

Phones, laptops, and external hard drives often contain the only copy of important information. Executors wish they weren’t guessing where devices are, whether they’re locked, and who can unlock them.

Note what devices you use, where they’re typically stored, and any relevant access instructions kept in your secure system.

Tell people what you want—before they have to guess

Write down funeral and memorial preferences

When families don’t know what you wanted, they may argue or second-guess every decision. Executors wish you had left even a few preferences so the day can be about remembering you, not negotiating logistics.

You can keep it simple: burial or cremation, religious or nonreligious service, music, readings, who should be notified, and any wishes about donations or flowers.

Share the “why” behind personal choices

Some decisions carry emotional weight: who receives sentimental items, how you want pets cared for, or what you want done with family heirlooms. Executors often wish they had context so they can carry out your intent with confidence.

A brief explanation can reduce hurt feelings and prevent misunderstandings, especially in blended families or when relationships are complicated.

Pick the right people and have one calm conversation

You don’t have to hold a dramatic family meeting. Often, the most helpful step is a private, practical conversation with your executor and one or two key people.

Tell them where your information is stored, what you’ve prepared, and what you still want to decide. Invite questions, and let it be imperfect—clarity grows over time.

A gentle checklist to start this week

Start with the smallest useful actions

If this topic feels heavy, begin with steps that don’t require big decisions. Executors benefit from momentum more than they benefit from a flawless plan.

Choose one place to store your information (physical or digital).
Create a one-page overview with key contacts and document locations.
List your main accounts, recurring bills, and where they’re managed.
Confirm who your executor and health care decision-maker are.

Set a simple update rhythm

Plans get outdated when life changes. Executors wish you had refreshed your information after major events, not years later.

Pick a routine you’ll actually keep—such as a quick review every January or on your birthday—and update names, account lists, and any changed preferences.

Leave a note of reassurance for the people you’re asking to help

Being named executor can feel like an honor and a burden. A short note acknowledging the responsibility—and telling them where to start—can reduce anxiety and make it easier for them to step in when the time comes.

You’re not trying to control everything from afar. You’re giving the people you love a clearer path through a hard moment.

Make It Easier for Your Executor Before They Start

MyLifeSaved organizes everything your executor will need — contacts, documents, wishes, and instructions — in one secure place with controlled access. Start your free plan today and give the people you trust a clearer path forward.